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ivmartz's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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ivmartz's favorite FMLs
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML
by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by lalalalainie / 10/13/2012 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Health
by sadness / 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML
by future missing person maker person thingy / 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids
by britchick95 / 10/10/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by tiredofthis / 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by fionnathehuman / 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm / United States / Kids
Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML
by Fluffy / 01/11/2012 at 7:51am / United States (Indiana) / Health
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- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…