itsa_maddy

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Offline (the 04/27/2014 at 11:43pm)

itsa_maddy

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 July 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1330
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About itsa_maddy : Most of my life scenarios are "fml" so this is by far my favorite website!

itsa_maddy's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 9:02am<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 4:09pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:18pm<b>TacoTerrorist</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 12:58pm<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 12:00am<b>cntrygl83</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:57pm<b>lotr4</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:23am<b>kirstenburke</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 5:58am<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 3:28pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:00pm<b>radrahrachel</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:50pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Brandonep</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 8:15am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 11:09am<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 1:19am<b>k_gils</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 9:21am<b>TheOnlyKittyKat</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 4:25am<b>Lukin</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 11:12am

Fucked!<b>niksatter96</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 7:18pm

itsa_maddy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of itsa_maddy's badges

itsa_maddy's favorite FMLs

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was finally leaving my hometown to live in my dream city. Everything was packed, keys were handed in, goodbyes were made. The moment my truck began pulling out to get underway, the guy I had gotten a room from in my new city called to inform me that he decided to rent to someone else. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 1:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

by sober / 07/09/2012 at 11:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

by deadman / 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Health

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm / United States / Work

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 11:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 7:26am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

by JadedBaker / 07/08/2012 at 2:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 1:18am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

by cj1012 / 07/07/2012 at 11:16pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to make me dinner surrounded by a candlelight setting. By the time I got home, we had 7 firefighters surrounding our house. Turns out one of the candles fell on the carpet and lit up the curtain as well. FML

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

by sozzy / 07/07/2012 at 3:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous