Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

itsa_maddy

Search for a member

itsa_maddy
  • Town/Country : Caseyville, Illinois
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 July 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 636
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About itsa_maddy : Most of my life scenarios are "fml" so this is by far my favorite website!

itsa_maddy's last visitors

radrahrachelBrandonepiHiccupBSHVAkicker99k_gilsTheOnlyKittyKatLukinneonglostix

itsa_maddy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of itsa_maddy's badges

itsa_maddy's favorite FMLs

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15537) - you deserved it (32895)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was finally leaving my hometown to live in my dream city. Everything was packed, keys were handed in, goodbyes were made. The moment my truck began pulling out to get underway, the guy I had gotten a room from in my new city called to inform me that he decided to rent to someone else. FML

#19917674
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (1292)

On 07/10/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

#19917183
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (2688)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:40pm - love - by sober (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

#19914869
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (1332)

On 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm - health - by deadman (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21384) - you deserved it (3001)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

#19913171
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (2491)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

#19911414
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (3998)

On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52318) - you deserved it (2240)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML

#19909229
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21877) - you deserved it (1352)

On 07/08/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

#19908748
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26459) - you deserved it (2872)

On 07/08/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

#19908128
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30853) - you deserved it (1392)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States

Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML

#19907709
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20720) - you deserved it (3087)

On 07/08/2012 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

#19907093
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20222) - you deserved it (1291)

On 07/07/2012 at 11:16pm - work - by cj1012 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to make me dinner surrounded by a candlelight setting. By the time I got home, we had 7 firefighters surrounding our house. Turns out one of the candles fell on the carpet and lit up the curtain as well. FML

#19906711
113 comments

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18781) - you deserved it (5681)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: