isallwaysme

Search for a member

isallwaysme

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16724
  • Number of comments : 385
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About isallwaysme : Time to show the real me. I've been hiding under the mask for too long. First thing, I really enjoy 2 sports; Speedball (speedball>woodsball but woodsball isnt bad) and freestyle skiing. Thats my life. In the summer Im all bruised and bloody, and in the winter im all bruised and bloody. Im not sure why i do it, its just really fun. Secondly, i get A LOT of injuries. Im from Canada, I have an amazing girlfriend. My motto; Go hard or go home.

isallwaysme's page activity

Visits<b>geko911</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 6:03pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 1:58pm<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 1:58am<b>midnight1890</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 11:14pm<b>zoza7oss</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 4:05pm<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 11:29pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 2:37pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 3:01am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 3:11pm<b>Madikat</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:10am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 9:58am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 4:18pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 10:48pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:59am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 10:45pm<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:47am<b>Brunofk7</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:35am

Fucked!<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 7:59am<b>Madikat</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 7:10am<b>Twisted_Killjoy</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:42am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:30pm

isallwaysme's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of isallwaysme's badges

isallwaysme's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

by Elcam / 10/16/2013 at 4:22am / Belgium / Work

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

by Allycat / 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

by BOHICA123 / 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 6:37am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

by anonymous / 09/16/2013 at 1:35am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

by thanks mom ¬_¬ / 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Kids