isabel001

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Offline (the 01/27/2014 at 3:59am)

isabel001

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 975
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About isabel001 : hey! My names Isabel(: I love to go out, love almost all music, you name it, EDM, indie, alternative, reggae, etc. I play soccer, love to longboard and paddle board. I spend most of my time at the beach or adventuring(: Send me a message I'm not shy :*

isabel001's page activity

Visits<b>yorlanox</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 10:30pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:42pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 4:31pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:05pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:32pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:11am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 8:48pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 7:39pm<b>fireman336</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:30am<b>yeatesj</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:03pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 2:54pm<b>asaffdanon</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 4:55am<b>bballer4life895</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 2:16pm<b>James_is_Mexican</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 6:07am<b>k_gils</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:24pm<b>loveable_x</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:52am

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isabel001's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

by ktiskool / 08/01/2013 at 12:03am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

by The Clitshank Redemption / 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

by JamiesMom / 05/13/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Love

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

by ldn / 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

by fuck you, gran / 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

by mcase / 07/31/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous