About ironwords : Dont hate me because I'm a cat
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
ironwords's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking home, I passed some guy loudly whining that foreign imports are destroying our economy, and that we should all be deported. When I pointed out that the mobile phone in his hand was clearly a Samsung, he turned bright red and punched me in the gut. FML
by fxck / 07/20/2012 at 6:45pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Work
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2011 at 7:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2011 at 2:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML
by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML
by manksy / 01/01/2010 at 5:07pm / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Work
by Blondegirl / 11/07/2009 at 7:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my son couldn't find all the parts to his Cub Scout uniform. I had a serious talk with him about being prepared, and how he would need to live with the consequences of not having the right outfit on. When we arrived at the meeting, everyone was in costumes because it's Halloween. I forgot. FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by SezzyJ / 10/02/2009 at 7:31am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/18/2009 at 3:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Oblivious / 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm / Kuwait / Love
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
by jf29 / 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…