About ironik69 : You're the boss and I am nobody. Therefore, you are the boss of nobody.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
ironik69's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/10/2015 at 9:47am / United States / Health
Today, I discovered that the man I have been talking to on a dating site is actually my ex-boyfriend. He created a fake profile and made me fall for someone that doesn't exist. We got on better anonymously than we ever did in 3 years together. FML
by mylovelifeisanepicfail / 03/12/2015 at 9:53am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2015 at 9:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health
Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML
by KillMePlease / 03/11/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I finally accepted I need help with my anxiety issues. I started small and I joined a support forum and wrote a post. I was quickly called a troll by multiple users, accused of faking it, and told to "fuck off back to Tumblr" because they wouldn't believe my anxiety is really so serious. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2015 at 2:43pm / United States / Health
Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by writerflaw / 03/10/2015 at 1:36pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML
by MyMomIsInsane / 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2015 at 6:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by nohobo / 03/09/2015 at 5:22pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML
by uglyshoegirl / 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 5:34am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML
by bushwhacker / 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Health