Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ironfey

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

ironfey

100Fucked!

ironfeyironfey
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 October 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2372
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 17 posted

About ironfey : After a year of ups and downs, I'm happy to say that I officially have my true love back. We faced some unfortunate events that made it, at the time, impossible to be together, but now he's here to stay. Love lasts through all 💕🐙

"And our lives will only ever always continue to be a balancing act that has less to do with pain, and more to do with beauty." - Shane Koyczan 🌺

"Normal is an illusion. What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly." - Morticia Addams

I sing in a fancy choir, spin flags, and make sandwiches.

I'm lame as hell, so don't message me unless you're okay with random blurbs and love for all things geeky.

Talk nerdy to me.

ironfey's page activity

Visits<b>xluciferx666</b> - yesterday at 3:35am<b>dakatabg</b> - yesterday at 10:35pm<b>ApollosMyth</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 4:22am<b>dewboy444</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:53pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:45am<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:43am<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 1:51am<b>AscendV</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:07pm<b>menabella</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:03pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:13am<b>Shipley18</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:25am<b>jokeralex816</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 12:04am<b>Si123</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:03am<b>MrConcise</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:57pm<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:23am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:28pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:27pm<b>AliceAshiteru</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:26am

Fucked!<b>menabella</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 1:56am<b>jokeralex816</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:18am<b>Stazza11</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:28am<b>MadMaxy</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:38pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 12:30am<b>amine91</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:43pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:05am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:59am<b>AscendV</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:09am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:26am<b>esemexicano</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 1:05am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:25am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:00am<b>mariusakke</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:28pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:04am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 10:05pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:57am

ironfey's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of ironfey's badges

ironfey's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48005) - you deserved it (2295)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12270) - you deserved it (37786)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

#5940932
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33851) - you deserved it (2909)

On 10/22/2009 at 3:41am - misc - by tessykins - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

#5023089
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14356) - you deserved it (57063)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:59pm - misc - by Co-B (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

#4645462
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55716) - you deserved it (5012)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79199) - you deserved it (6860)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

#4330771
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20705) - you deserved it (113684)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:27am - misc - by Cowan - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML

#4203484
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (54142)

On 08/01/2009 at 8:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

#4127495
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17411) - you deserved it (48652)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got back from a romantic vacation at a fancy hotel with my boyfriend of 6 months. After a steamy love session, I confessed that I was in love with him. Later, when I got out of the shower, all his stuff was gone and I was stuck with the entire week's hotel cost and no ride home. FML

#3824870
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59248) - you deserved it (6244)

On 07/17/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Stranded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

#3313899
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34929) - you deserved it (12055)

On 06/28/2009 at 5:30pm - animals - by Teylot (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46059) - you deserved it (11999)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

#2797369
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (52736)

On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

#1734899
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102150) - you deserved it (16157)

On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: