About irgndsondepp : Studying physics in Germany, playing guitar and sucking at life!
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irgndsondepp's favorite FMLs
Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2012 at 4:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by bieberslayer / 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm / United States / Geek
by psd60 / 12/06/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML
by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by disembob / 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm / Europe / Miscellaneous
Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML
by vanillatwilight2 / 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by satega / 11/17/2012 at 4:15am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
by talker / 11/14/2012 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
by Shauna / 11/08/2012 at 6:09am / United States / Kids
by ThisisMedSchool / 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML
by TheHarvardian / 10/25/2012 at 2:59am / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
- Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma… Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he… Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I…