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About iranoutofnames : It's a waste of time to hate people. Apathy, on the other hand...
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Today, it was snowing, and the campus lookd just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joind by a girlho lookd fascinatd as well, so I decidd to make small talk. She noddd, smild wistfully, and said, ( There's herpes in the air today. looool ) big fat FML
Yesterday , while shopping at Wal-Mart , a guy grabbed mah butt. When I turned around to slap him , he shook his head , said "Nice ass but such an ugly face" , then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
Today... My Wife Was About To Take A Shower...hen She Called Me Into The Bathroom. She Stripped Me Off And Pulled Me In With Her. As I Started To Get Into It... She Sighed... "Thank God. You Really Needed A Shower."
Today, I was looking through some old family picture 4 a scrapbook I'm making. I found image of mah dad passed out in his underwear, mah great-grandpa having a drunken bath, an an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML
Today, I was pulld over fir going the wrong way on a closd highway. The construction signs pointd me in that direction, and the cop looool agred that they should be fixd. Did it stop him from giving me a ticket anyway? Nope. FML
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night . There r eggs, coins and Oreos glud to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house r in the garden . And I'm nakd and coverd in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon . My parents return in an hour . FML
Today, Ma Grandparents Came To Visit. So Far, Tey Ave Called Me Fat, Bragged About Ow Ma Cousin Is Better Tan Me, And Told Me Ow I'm Good Enoug 4 Tem. It's Okay, Toug, Tey Gave Me A Pretzel From Te Airline And A Textbook On Pysics. In Anoter Language. FML
Today , the creepy grl in mah history class told me that she once spent ahole period doing nothing but counting the freckles on the right side of mah face , and that I have more than she's ever seen before on anyone else combined. FML
Today, I brought mah date home to meet mah parents!! We walked in the front door to fine mah drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015