invadermaythe1st

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invadermaythe1st

73Fucked!

invadermaythe1stinvadermaythe1st
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4680
  • Number of comments : 210
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About invadermaythe1st : I'm just a 16 year old girl from England.
I assume you're here due to a witty or funny comment? ;)

invadermaythe1st's page activity

Visits<b>ALPHA8WOLF</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 5:10pm<b>Srxjo</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:26am<b>mkmon7</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 12:58am<b>28actress</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 8:01am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 10:54am<b>rman6796</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 9:45am<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 4:01pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:02pm<b>RedRiolu</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:10pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 2:23am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 11:27pm<b>robotech80</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:32pm<b>chuckmaddah</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 10:41am<b>sydmeister99</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:58pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:54pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:12pm<b>Leporus</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:39pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 1:24pm

Fucked!<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:13pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 8:51pm<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:43am<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:59pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:16am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:22pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 4:47am<b>3051628</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 9:08am<b>kumarina</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:22pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 5:16pm<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 4:31pm<b>MasterTron</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 3:44pm<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:14pm<b>A07</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:38pm<b>lexred</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 4:06pm<b>IHeartMinecraft</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:58pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:58am<b>vegemute</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:21pm

invadermaythe1st's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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invadermaythe1st's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

by EnderHorse / 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, after weeks of searching, I finally found the wedding dress of my dreams. Too bad it was in the form of a download for The Sims. FML

by Anna / 09/29/2015 at 10:58am / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2015 at 9:15pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

by Catsfordays / 08/20/2015 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Love

Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML

by Bart / 07/03/2015 at 12:32am / Work

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML

by alaillama / 06/30/2015 at 6:19pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to brake, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

by infrontofninepeople / 06/30/2015 at 4:31pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Transportation

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

by bummed out step monster / 06/24/2015 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

by Partners / 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

by vkryss13 / 06/22/2015 at 3:10pm / Guam / Kids

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

by justin bieber's nutsack / 06/06/2015 at 3:32am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 8:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

by Zufallian / 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.