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TODAY.. . I WAS WALKING AROUND MY COLLEGE CAMPUS WHEN SOMEONE ASKED ME IF I HAD GOTTEN SEPARATED FROM MY TOUR GROUP . HE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAID I WAS A STUDENT THERE . THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME . FML
Today , I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly , because the guy turnd out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I usd the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares.
Today, we had a surprise party for mah boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing mah boss sawhen he walked in was all mah co-worker watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML
Today , I startd at my new job . My manager , upon meeting me , huggd me and sniffd my neck , then commentd that I smelld "natural" and told me how much he loves that . I have to work with this creep until god knows when . FML
TODAY , MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAD SEX 4 THE FIRST TIME , AND I TRIED TO BE SEXY BY RAKING MY NAILS DOWN HIS BACK. I GUESS I DID IT A LITTLE TOO HARD , BECAUSE HE SHRIEKED IN PAIN , LEAPT OFF ME , AND LIMPED AROUND THE ROOM CURSING ANDHIMPERING. MOOD RUINED. FML
Today, dad gave me te sex talk . After telling me all te stuff I already knew, e told me never to use Durex condoms . He said, "Tey break a lot . Tat's te only reason you're around today, really." ten cuckled to imself .
Friday 27 March 2015