About imshadyxo : I read fmls before I go to bed.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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imshadyxo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm / Ireland (Laois) / Intimacy
by bigmouthedmommy / 04/13/2015 at 1:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML
by dickhead / 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I thought I was having a heart attack and I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He told me to wait because he'd just ordered a pizza. FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2015 at 8:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health
Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML
by mareecasellafml / 03/27/2015 at 5:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML
by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health
by RadioactiveKush / 03/01/2015 at 2:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by mszoe / 03/01/2015 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 9:16am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I apologised to someone for my misuse of the word 'coloured' in a discussion about ethnic minority issues. They then got even more angry and said that to even quote the word in the context of an apology is evidence of my ignorance and inherent racism. FML
by whiteycan'tgetitrightey / 02/24/2015 at 6:13pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML
by Anonymous / 02/24/2015 at 10:10am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Love
Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML
by StrawHatBill / 02/13/2015 at 9:54am / United States / Love
- Today, my girlfriend left me for her boss. The same boss that, two weeks ago, caused her to come to… Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he… Today, my fiancé ended our engagement, saying he wanted to have "one last quickie" for the road. He…