About imshadyxo : I read fmls before I go to bed.
imshadyxo's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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imshadyxo's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2015 at 8:37pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 1:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by LexiD19 / 07/31/2015 at 6:56pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
by fishingforubies2 / 07/24/2015 at 10:02am / Aruba / Work
by stargate25 / 07/23/2015 at 10:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML
Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML
by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2015 at 10:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by zzarzzur / 05/22/2015 at 2:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by fuckingdonuts / 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long…