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  • Town/Country : Raleigh, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 October 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 527
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ilovemonkeybutts : hella rad.
I like cats. a lot.
I don't like relationships.

ilovemonkeybutts's page activity

Visits<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - 5 hours ago<b>joarasmi</b> - 6 hours ago<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - 7 hours ago<b>10nachoman10</b> - 8 hours ago<b>connaughty0225</b> - 13 hours ago<b>terspal</b> - 15 hours ago<b>killer0689</b> - 24 hours ago<b>colton_colton</b> - yesterday at 3:18am<b>nwdt3621</b> - yesterday at 2:36am<b>chandler88</b> - yesterday at 1:44am<b>johnfulcher90</b> - yesterday at 4:54pm<b>Teyros</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:20am<b>ddeveshh</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:33pm<b>ScarredVox92</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:39pm<b>PredatorPups</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:14pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:01pm<b>Fyrepower</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:38am<b>DrummerWS</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:49am

Fucked!<b>terspal</b> - 9 hours ago<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:11am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 4:58pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Cringey</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:32pm<b>gkmd98</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 4:33am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:56am<b>Logicscmogic</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:17am<b>imkool136</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:16pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:53pm<b>colvindj</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:26am<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:00am<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:25am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:04pm<b>Fyrepower</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:32pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:38am<b>MattStro</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:17am

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ilovemonkeybutts's favorite FMLs

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (2413)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML


I agree, your life sucks (33583) - you deserved it (5822)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42245) - you deserved it (11776)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41672) - you deserved it (3971)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60985) - you deserved it (8645)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57470) - you deserved it (6806)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML


I agree, your life sucks (60693) - you deserved it (9167)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46482) - you deserved it (21238)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40132) - you deserved it (5786)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (7375)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33166) - you deserved it (15909)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (3118)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

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