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ilovemonkeybutts

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ilovemonkeybutts

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ilovemonkeybuttsilovemonkeybutts
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 377
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About ilovemonkeybutts : hello

ilovemonkeybutts's page activity

Visits<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:28pm<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:21am<b>burro012</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Ethann44</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:57pm<b>valerie_273</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 6:54pm<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 8:02am<b>MrConcise</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 3:22am<b>Ginger_Gawd</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:31am<b>RMfml33</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 3:22pm<b>bigjake</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 3:22pm<b>born_hustla</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 2:02am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:50am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 11:50pm<b>lexi365</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:58am<b>IspSG</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:07pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:05pm<b>stonerboyswag</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:31pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:39pm

Liked!<b>born_hustla</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:02am<b>IspSG</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 9:07pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:14am

ilovemonkeybutts's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of ilovemonkeybutts's badges

ilovemonkeybutts's favorite FMLs

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30050) - you deserved it (2253)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29336) - you deserved it (3333)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (2389)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33350) - you deserved it (5795)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (11755)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40702) - you deserved it (3878)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58561) - you deserved it (8295)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57353) - you deserved it (6796)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60608) - you deserved it (9157)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (21021)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40047) - you deserved it (5776)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (7242)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31990) - you deserved it (15438)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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