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ilovemonkeybutts

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ilovemonkeybutts

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ilovemonkeybuttsilovemonkeybutts
  • Town/Country : Raleigh, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 October 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 601
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ilovemonkeybutts : i don't recommend messaging me

ilovemonkeybutts's page activity

Visits<b>Ryan777777777</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 10:55pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 12:04am<b>gis0392</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:25pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:28pm<b>miss_cata26</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:14pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 12:54am<b>angel_black26</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 9:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:05pm<b>whassallt26</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:22pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 10:22pm<b>xKG33x</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:46am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:22am<b>Wolfpack2</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:38pm<b>LaceysBabe</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 12:04am<b>moron011</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:07am<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:56am

Fucked!<b>Kamorka</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:58pm<b>aussiecyclist</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:11am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 4:32am<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:50am<b>nastya_nastenka</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:31pm<b>SaniK</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 4:23pm<b>johnfulcher90</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:36pm<b>cfojo</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:15pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 4:28pm<b>terspal</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:11am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 4:58pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Cringey</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:32pm<b>gkmd98</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 4:33am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:56am<b>Logicscmogic</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:17am

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ilovemonkeybutts's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26488) - you deserved it (3212)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (3637)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28697) - you deserved it (2467)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36289) - you deserved it (6297)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45099) - you deserved it (13161)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42265) - you deserved it (4033)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61791) - you deserved it (8728)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59413) - you deserved it (7023)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63551) - you deserved it (9608)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46975) - you deserved it (21455)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43102) - you deserved it (6085)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (7478)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33215) - you deserved it (15931)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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