ilokajkid1369

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Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 4:47pm)

ilokajkid1369

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 382
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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ilokajkid1369's page activity

Visits<b>Jaymee1980</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:10pm<b>Lj9512</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:31pm<b>Adam5858</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:04pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 10:31am

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ilokajkid1369's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

by whoops / 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy