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illmatic2

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illmatic2

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9648
  • Number of comments : 1973
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About illmatic2 : I've been here for a while.

I'm really good at minesweeper.

illmatic2's page activity

Visits<b>Nexa</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:24pm<b>porsimonkija</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 10:29am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:33am<b>Poppy_buchanan</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:23am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:25am<b>NoName011</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:57am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:36pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:57pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 4:52pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 10:58pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 3:19am<b>Drosophila82</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:53am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 5:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:02am<b>X3liteXHunterX</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:50am<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 10:12pm<b>thedukutree123</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:43am<b>silentlyhannah</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:18pm

Fucked!<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:15pm

illmatic2's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of illmatic2's badges

illmatic2's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44656) - you deserved it (13208)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33727) - you deserved it (9977)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

#12424565
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38607) - you deserved it (4068)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39619) - you deserved it (10039)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43201) - you deserved it (7795)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27121) - you deserved it (6973)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28470) - you deserved it (4086)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

#8443272
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22675) - you deserved it (3301)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by sexxibxmami - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (5499)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71805) - you deserved it (42854)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

#662645
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (77830)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22099) - you deserved it (50204)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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