illmatic2

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Offline (the 03/21/2016 at 2:44am)

illmatic2

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10064
  • Number of comments : 1975
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About illmatic2 : I've been here for a while.

I'm really good at minesweeper.

illmatic2's page activity

Visits<b>itsalanis</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 9:15pm<b>nicebutdim</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 8:28pm<b>Checker</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 6:37pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 1:26pm<b>MyUsernameKatie</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:39am<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:29am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:26am<b>Avi8r</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 1:54pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:37am<b>rebow</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:11pm<b>Obito_Uchiha651</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:03am<b>Logical07</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:06am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:22am<b>Ilmoran</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:17am<b>panromantic</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:07am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 5:51am<b>Jivesliven</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:25pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 8:43pm

Fucked!<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:30am<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:40pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:40am<b>Avititoe12</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 4:43pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:14am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:15pm

illmatic2's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of illmatic2's badges

illmatic2's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

by Embarrassed / 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm / United States / Health

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

by PicklesMcRaptor / 03/25/2012 at 7:59am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

by anonymous / 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Love

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

by me / 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2011 at 3:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

by yum yogurt / 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

by Mr.P / 10/21/2011 at 11:35am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids