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ileenefudge's favorite FMLs
by WhiteCaribbean / 09/22/2014 at 3:38pm / Saint Lucia (Castries) / Intimacy
Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML
by royallymessedup / 09/21/2014 at 11:33am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm / United States / Love
by anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work
Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML
by UnSupported / 08/14/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by ihatespiders / 08/05/2014 at 8:31am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by notthenaughtymaid / 08/04/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by look how totally not racist I am! / 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…