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ikillu99

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ikillu99

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ikillu99's favorite FMLs

Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML

#20960938
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43522) - you deserved it (4062)

On 11/17/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46031) - you deserved it (6315)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48137) - you deserved it (4371)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35281) - you deserved it (2910)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

#20127903
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17680) - you deserved it (4537)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17503) - you deserved it (7251)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25044) - you deserved it (4619)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

#3811279
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49810) - you deserved it (2926)

On 07/16/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by search_me (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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