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ijustgiveup

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ijustgiveup

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 407
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ijustgiveup's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of ijustgiveup's badges

ijustgiveup's favorite FMLs

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

#21255696
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36103) - you deserved it (3138)

On 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm - work - by notmarryingyou - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43611) - you deserved it (10431)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29061) - you deserved it (16412)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

#21244302
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38054) - you deserved it (5049)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40698) - you deserved it (14538)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44592) - you deserved it (7580)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40635) - you deserved it (6447)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45476) - you deserved it (8484)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40521) - you deserved it (6147)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48332) - you deserved it (8529)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

#21200981
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44294) - you deserved it (4991)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56425) - you deserved it (5220) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (15438)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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