Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iiTzNeeNerz

Search for a member

iiTzNeeNerz
  • Town/Country : Austin, Tx
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1116
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About iiTzNeeNerz : I'm just here for the *gasp* inducing FML's. The most outrageous are definitely the best.

What I love: Music, cars, photography, Supernatural.

There is a boy in my life who means the world to me. He calls me Mom.

The name is Noemi :)
No, I don't have a Kik.

iiTzNeeNerz's last visitors

ijulezBulldozer36Martinez0285logan1423geass_userEdogg215Ambient25KSIPanda2

iiTzNeeNerz's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of iiTzNeeNerz's badges

iiTzNeeNerz's favorite FMLs

Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML

#20764102
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (3266)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by uvagirl - United States

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56409) - you deserved it (10970)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

#20698103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43210) - you deserved it (4704)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm - money - by speechless (man) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

#20697878
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35966) - you deserved it (13353)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by nbj10 (man) - Singapore

Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML

#20689016
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42555) - you deserved it (8002)

On 05/27/2013 at 9:42am - animals - by Nearly Crashed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59645) - you deserved it (3964)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

#20683515
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51649) - you deserved it (15671)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45741) - you deserved it (6414)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46582) - you deserved it (4245)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (4549)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35256) - you deserved it (6020)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70304) - you deserved it (3825)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

#20655918
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67252) - you deserved it (4759)

On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: