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ignoremeimweird's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (Kansas) / Kids
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by Monkeyless / 05/01/2012 at 11:59pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 5:45am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by DaveAlmighty / 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Jason199615 / 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by kayadd33 / 04/10/2012 at 10:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Telemarket / 04/04/2012 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML
by BigBangCheater / 04/01/2012 at 6:08am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML
by SHK519 / 03/24/2012 at 9:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Geek
by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn.…