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ignoremeimweird

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ignoremeimweird
  • Town/Country : Birmingham, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1364
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ignoremeimweird's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

#19675314
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15400) - you deserved it (3282)

On 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10685) - you deserved it (18495)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML

#19561558
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (2320)

On 05/01/2012 at 11:59pm - animals - by Monkeyless (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

#19546385
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8606) - you deserved it (15997)

On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20033) - you deserved it (2516)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8622) - you deserved it (16758)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

#19484156
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32203) - you deserved it (2034)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by Jason199615 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17324) - you deserved it (1626)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

#19387058
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18968) - you deserved it (3947)

On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

#19339659
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6092) - you deserved it (21056)

On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (5777)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (3981)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25990) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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