About igive : I am here for amusement at the posters' expense.
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igive's favorite FMLs
Today, my overweight colleague twisted his ankle. He's pretty self-conscious about his weight, but I had a brain-fart and told him he shouldn't try to put too much weight on it. His feelings are more hurt than his ankle now. FML
by WeighYourWords / 05/03/2016 at 7:12am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Work
Today, I joined my grandpa on his morning jog. I didn't last 15 minutes before nearly passing out from exhaustion. He came jogging back home nearly an hour later looking even better than he did when we left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 12:41pm / United States / Health
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 3 years. She responded by drinking all the alcohol in sight, falling unconscious and pissing herself. Six hours later, she said that I was too immature and that's why it would never work. FML
by random guy / 03/30/2016 at 2:49am / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, a shifty customer came in to my store and was hanging around for about 30 minutes. Apparently, he took that time to put religiously-motivated anti-abortion notes into each and every pair of socks. In the following hours, I had 17 angry returns and was personally threatened twice. FML
by socknotes / 03/08/2016 at 11:02pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Work
Today, my grandmother yet again asked where my grandfather is. She refuses to believe us when we tell her that he passed away 6 years ago. She always insists that he's out cheating on her and accuses us of lying to cover his arse. FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2016 at 7:11am / United Kingdom (Torfaen) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/23/2016 at 6:26am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/04/2016 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by DriveNowhere / 12/31/2015 at 6:50am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/29/2015 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, after 3 months of successful business at my restaurant, sales are down the shitter. Why? Because some no-life troll started posting loads of bad reviews online. He uses different names, but nothing in the reviews has ever happened. We can't get the reviews taken down. FML
by jacobianscum / 11/29/2015 at 2:05am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/29/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
by badmom / 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals