icanhazfmlz

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icanhazfmlz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 23937
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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icanhazfmlz's page activity

Visits<b>MSHproject</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:37pm<b>jpi13</b> - the 06/12/2009 at 1:28am<b>GreenandYellow</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 1:12am<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:53am<b>yoshizle1123</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 1:05am<b>myfrickinlife</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 2:31pm<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 6:43am<b>nafur15</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 8:37pm<b>slayergirlkal</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 11:19am<b>brianflinn</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 5:45am<b>arbysFML</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 8:59pm<b>KelCee_E</b> - the 04/09/2009 at 11:26pm<b>rachelhuggo</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 7:06pm<b>OrbitO</b> - the 04/01/2009 at 8:03am<b>breathemein</b> - the 03/21/2009 at 1:04pm<b>vgirl1990</b> - the 03/03/2009 at 4:59pm

icanhazfmlz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

icanhazfmlz's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2009 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

by paprikarulz / 07/01/2009 at 6:31am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

by matte / 03/30/2009 at 8:16am / Australia (South Australia) / Work

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

by fittingroompotty / 03/02/2009 at 8:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

by wideman / 02/28/2009 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

by shilpajayseanfan / 02/24/2009 at 8:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up". I certainly wasn't aware. FML

by looz / 12/29/2008 at 2:21am / Love

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

by Lo / 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm / Love

Today, it has been a year and a half since my boyfriend discovered online poker. Annoyed to see him spending every evening playing on his laptop, I threatened him: “Now honey, you have to choose. It’s your poker or me!” Answer: “You are bluffing!” FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2008 at 12:54pm / Love