iateapenguin

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iateapenguin

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2553
  • Number of comments : 172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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iateapenguin's page activity

Visits<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Draveren</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Moopster</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Teyros</b> - 19 hours ago<b>lambda</b> - 20 hours ago<b>AlexArtorias</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Itineranthuman</b> - 23 hours ago<b>OlRed</b> - 23 hours ago<b>TheDarkLight</b> - yesterday at 6:34am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:58am<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 8:23am<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 10:31am<b>Zatert</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 7:40am<b>vaas90</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 5:47am<b>datboii_unicorn</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 4:20am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 5:03pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 3:14am<b>derplogic</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 11:43pm

Fucked!<b>Draveren</b> - 10 hours ago<b>ezrajab</b> - 13 hours ago<b>lambda</b> - 14 hours ago<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:27pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 7:57pm<b>salii321</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 2:15am<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:36pm<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 2:47am<b>pks2014</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 12:35am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 10:29pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 8:26pm<b>csjc</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:26pm<b>A07</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:11pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 3:35am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 3:20am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:47pm<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 3:37pm<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:20am

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iateapenguin's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my 7 year old sister poking a dead bird with a stick, causing maggots to start coming out of the bird's sad little body. I was horrified and threw up. She won't stop mocking me for being a "sissy". FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 3:41pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML

by ishyboo / 02/27/2016 at 5:59pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, a friend located my stolen dog. It was sold to a family that has an autistic child. I was told by the police that I could have my dog back, but they think I am a terrible person if I do. FML

by queerdragon / 02/25/2016 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 12:58pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was knocked unconscious by the 10 year-old I was babysitting because it was his younger sister's bedtime and he didn't want her to go. When I came to, their mother was screaming at me for sleeping on the job. In the middle of the kitchen floor. I lost a job and gained a killer headache. FML

by kids shouldnt have hard sports equipment / 01/17/2016 at 8:48pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML

by dead man walking? / 10/04/2015 at 9:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman drove her car onto my closed worksite. Since it is hazardous for the general public, I told her to leave. Later, the police arrived and gave me hell. Apparently, I was reported for being "snippy". FML

by SteamLass765 / 08/13/2015 at 5:58am / Work

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

by NotJobbing / 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML

by Mrs. W. / 08/10/2015 at 8:32pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a hockey game. While warm-ups were happening, my favourite player pointed at me and tossed me a puck. It bounced off my hand into another girl's, who was a fan of the other team. She refused to give it back, then walked away and said, "I can't wait to sell this on eBay." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer at the restaurant where I work reduced me to tears by screaming at me, as I nearly knocked out his 2-year-old with the kitchen door, after he let the little boy play on the floor behind it. Apparently, it's my fault I can't see through solid wood. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2015 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML

by dtack2tack / 07/09/2015 at 9:42am / United States / Love