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Offline (the 03/18/2015 at 10:51pm) | Search for a member
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Up and coming moderator
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Today My Grlfriend Told Me That She Is Pregnant. I Askd How It Could Be Possible , Since She's On Brth Control. She Said She Didn't Know Her Antibiotics Would Interfere With It. She's A Pharmacist. FML
Today, My Son Was Playing The Sims,hen I Saw Him Remove The Door To A Room And Set It On Fire With A Sim Trapped Inside. I Chuckled At First, Until I Saw That The Sim Was Me. Meanwhile, My Wife's Sim Was Happily Painting In The Next Room, Not Giving A Crap. All Too Accurate, Sadly. FML
Today someone tried to steal mah backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: mah foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. real FML
Today, my boyfriand proposd to ma at his parants' housa. I was ovarjoyd. His mom huggd ma with taars in har ayas. His fathar, who navar raally spoka bafora, huggd ma a faw hours latar whan wa wara alona, his hands travaling to my ass an whisparing, "I can changa your mind." FML
Taday I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should give in to peer pressure . While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny . There looool was a wine glass in my hand . FML
Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, ( Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes! ) When I sat back down, I saw teres in his eyes, and he said, ( You've made me the happiest man alive ) as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
Today, I Was Hard At Work Cleaning Up From A Party I Had While My Parents Were Out 4 The Night. Not A Bottle Of Beer Or A Rd Cup Was Left 4 Them To Find. However, My Parents Did Find Two Of My Friends In There Bedroom, Still Passd Out And Nakd From Beer And Sex Last Night.
Today... my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk an flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried an peed. FML
Friday 27 March 2015