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iamvanellope

Offline (the 08/26/2015 at 2:22am) | Search for a member

iamvanellope

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1432
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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iamvanellope's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of iamvanellope's badges

iamvanellope's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

#21457997
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (1735)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28953) - you deserved it (4796)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

#21443849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (1985)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02am - kids - by facepalming all the way (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML

#21442166
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31515) - you deserved it (3069)

On 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by Razz - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33213) - you deserved it (2322)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, instead of canceling for the third consecutive time due to work-related reasons, my boyfriend sent his twin brother on our date. They both thought I wouldn't notice. FML

#21438625
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26932) - you deserved it (1864)

On 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

#21418659
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24809) - you deserved it (5133)

On 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

#21418496
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (6067)

On 05/31/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

#21417851
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29509) - you deserved it (2496)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

#21410693
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39725) - you deserved it (6471)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (4526)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (4568)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, all because he thought I was a communist, a sinner, and a terrorist, simply because I think the gay rights are OK, because I agree with some feminists, and because I got blonde highlights in my hair. FML

#21402099
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31911) - you deserved it (5442)

On 04/29/2015 at 11:31pm - love - by Confusedblonde - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40472) - you deserved it (3099)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)



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