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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
Friday 18 April 2014