About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.
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iamabamf's favorite FMLs
Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 9:09am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation
by JG / 05/10/2012 at 7:48am / United States (Florida) / Love
by roomingwithevil / 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy
Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML
by dan / 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, as I got off the bus, I saw a girl counting her change making sure she had enough for the ride. Since it was my last stop for the day, I offered my day pass to her. She replied, "Get away, freak." FML
by calidreaming / 05/09/2012 at 10:40am / Japan (Osaka) / Miscellaneous
by Mouhahaa / 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm / France / Love
by laury / 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
by mal / 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by me / 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy
by madseason / 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
by billiams15 / 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax,… Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I… Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless…