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iamabamf

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iamabamf
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3988
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

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iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (78437)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

#574941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58805) - you deserved it (9044)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91380) - you deserved it (28438)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80724) - you deserved it (30129)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude photoshoot, with kind of an Adam and Eve theme. After the first couple of pictures with the extremly sexy female model, I got a boner. There were still 100 shots left to go. FML

#512486
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47662) - you deserved it (19251)

On 03/21/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Bden (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132423) - you deserved it (4960)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

#502307
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14903) - you deserved it (57070)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

#487098
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48906) - you deserved it (15014)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML

#410087
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59283) - you deserved it (21637)

On 03/17/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML

#407714
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77246) - you deserved it (6360)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML

#381498
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (145149) - you deserved it (19746)

On 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by gfg (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

#343744
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (70029)

On 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML

#333787
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72821) - you deserved it (38021)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:45am - intimacy - by 12incher (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML

#333270
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45132) - you deserved it (21772)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:20am - love - by Raw95 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15716) - you deserved it (105046)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)



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