iamabamf

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iamabamf

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11370
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

iamabamf's page activity

Visits<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:18am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 12:07am<b>konan__</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 3:45am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 11:43pm<b>XXFMLXXQUEENXX</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:32pm<b>saidaswear</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:36pm<b>aishhaaa_</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 10:52pm<b>racerboy102</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 11:10pm<b>LeChef</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 6:40pm<b>PHP</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:50pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:18pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:59am<b>rissamarie</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 11:35pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:20pm<b>PVXCRunner15</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 11:59pm<b>Foster678</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:07pm<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 8:20pm<b>wecameasromans15</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:49pm

Fucked!<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:46pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:52pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:13am<b>everton99</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 1:12am<b>morlogg</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 11:23pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:17am

iamabamf's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

by markzar / 05/05/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

by 464424 / 05/05/2012 at 2:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

by CALIdime_15 / 05/05/2012 at 1:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

by AnonymousUser / 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML

by Garry / 05/04/2012 at 5:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML

by UnderConstruction / 05/04/2012 at 10:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML

by homealone / 05/03/2012 at 12:39am / Canada / Love

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

by EyeSeeYou / 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

by winnerwinner / 05/02/2012 at 11:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend started a conversation with "I don't want to break up" and ended the conversation with "I think I'd be better off alone." So I guess I'm now single. I think. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 7:05am / Canada / Love

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML

by BoomHeadshot / 05/01/2012 at 10:27pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML

by Megannn / 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

by rolyat / 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy