iam808014

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iam808014

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2199
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iam808014 : I could write a lot of stuff here.But I'm not.

iam808014's page activity

Visits<b>MitchellK</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 9:23pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:25am

iam808014's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

iam808014's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

by knockedup / 02/13/2011 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

by Username / 02/08/2011 at 11:57am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

by Raprotcommander / 02/07/2011 at 10:47am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

by LimpMcgee / 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 4:01am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2011 at 4:47pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, at work, a homeless woman called me trash, threw her coffee at me, and told me to get a job. I do have a job. It's homeless outreach. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2011 at 6:44am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

by snappyPi / 01/28/2011 at 1:21am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

by JordanVilleneuve / 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

by Fucked / 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

by mortified / 01/22/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

by fmlalways / 01/22/2011 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy