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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13916
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40662) - you deserved it (13914)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

#21064082
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51546) - you deserved it (4249)

On 02/18/2014 at 12:45am - love - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after 3 weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML

#21063710
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (4245)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:01pm - kids - by LittleArtist - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

#21062817
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (55013)

On 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

#21062139
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38074) - you deserved it (5529)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:37am - misc - by snowlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36763) - you deserved it (7880)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49060) - you deserved it (4610)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43959) - you deserved it (6700)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24679) - you deserved it (30204)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44186) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29679) - you deserved it (45279)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37631) - you deserved it (5010)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35157) - you deserved it (3841)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)



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