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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13888
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend had broken up with me. She was more upset about it than I was. She actually almost cried. FML

#21076568
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35451) - you deserved it (3252)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:13am - love - by Chilly (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML

#21074902
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35306) - you deserved it (3248)

On 03/01/2014 at 12:23pm - misc - by thanks, cunt-o (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38323) - you deserved it (8501)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially "kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML

#21074103
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38281) - you deserved it (2842)

On 02/28/2014 at 3:01pm - kids - by HeMayHaveSomeIssues (man) - Denmark

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24168) - you deserved it (53337)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

#21073274
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35579) - you deserved it (5092)

On 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm - animals - by ricard0 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16762) - you deserved it (53152)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20940) - you deserved it (31573) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39500) - you deserved it (7011)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42477) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

#21070365
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40121) - you deserved it (3572)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm - animals - by Good choice cat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39683) - you deserved it (3454)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42621) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33838) - you deserved it (2445)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)



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