Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

i_wuz_nver_here

Search for a member

i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13882
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

i_wuz_nver_here's last visitors

swick25lil_ham1644logan1423MetalManiacHappyking_of_LAladystatemeb123hazelthe_zero_articleLarissa24cnparks1990Naomietje

i_wuz_nver_here's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of i_wuz_nver_here's badges

i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you deserved it (3498)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I brought home my 3D glasses after a movie. I had a laugh about it until I realized that I put my $100 sunglasses in the recycle box outside of the theatre instead. FML

#21109576
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32963) - you deserved it (18547)

On 04/10/2014 at 4:52pm - money - by BobRyder (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58006) - you deserved it (27759)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40155) - you deserved it (2835)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17928) - you deserved it (41885)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38984) - you deserved it (8269)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18129) - you deserved it (40596)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

#21105694
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (4081)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:57am - misc - by FaceTime issues - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53705) - you deserved it (4853)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML

#21104753
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35136) - you deserved it (4897)

On 04/04/2014 at 9:57pm - misc - by Violet (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

#21103818
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41533) - you deserved it (2972)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by kubbyp (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

#21101903
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (3252)

On 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44684) - you deserved it (5120)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML

#21101388
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37310) - you deserved it (2354)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:03pm - misc - by IcyWindows - United States (Utah)

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

#21101310
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36691) - you deserved it (2972)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by awks - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: