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iOceanus

Offline (the 02/04/2015 at 5:25pm) | Search for a member

iOceanus

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3075
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About iOceanus : I enjoy reading manga, watching anime, and playing video games. Otaku and proud! ^_^☆ Send me a message, and I'll entertain you! I'll talk about anything, really. :P Although, I'm usually lurking on FML at night! Sayonara mina-san!
( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.
-Anonymous

You reap what you sow. -Many people

Do or do not, there is no try. -Master Yoda

True freedom lies within ones thoughts.
-Anonymous

iOceanus's page activity

Visits<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:34am<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 2:56pm<b>nwaugh72</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:56pm<b>kandifantasy</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:26am<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:10am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:17am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:17am<b>One_Way</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 5:35pm<b>pinque</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:11am<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:29pm<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:55pm<b>Stroke_Her_Ace</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 1:05am<b>thepwny8</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:35pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:19pm<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:16pm<b>__Zorro__</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 5:59pm

Liked!<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:56pm

iOceanus's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of iOceanus's badges

iOceanus's favorite FMLs

I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying . Suddenly.. . I had to poop worse than I ever had to in mah entire life . The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking mah tireshile I let out the entire contents of mah bowels onto the road . FML

#20579905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36591) - you deserved it (8226)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today,hile going down on grlfriend , I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm , she tore out a clump of hair , causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said , "Ah shut it , ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54014) - you deserved it (12376)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to mah husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash mah clothes. FML

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me 4 not refunding them. FML

#20569678
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44747) - you deserved it (6271)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

TODAY, I BOARDED MA FIRST AIRPLANE FLIGT. TE GIRL ON MA RIGT IS SICK, AND TE GUY ON MA LEFT SAYS E GETS EXTREMELY NAUSEOU ON FLIGTS. MY EARPONE CAN'T BLOCK OUT TE PANTING AND RETCING ON EITER SIDE OF ME. MEGA FML

2day my dad yet again utterd the words "well, that escalatd quickly,"hile watching the news . He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day . I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already . He raisd an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalatd quickly." FML

#20566988
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (51746)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today... mah 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant... and was diagnosd with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD... cuz he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did... as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. mega FML

#20565460
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (15142)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while on the way to Florida fir spring break, I pointed out to mah mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mrror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. real FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40156) - you deserved it (4721)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me 4 not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38309) - you deserved it (2563)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friend were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47090) - you deserved it (3294)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I was chatting with a co-workar, and sha mantionad sha has troubla swallowing pills. I rapliad that I'm lucky, bacausa I hava naxt to no gag raflax. Half tha guys at tha othar ragistars abruptly want silant, and I'm now baing constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33737) - you deserved it (15357)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, ( Babe, you took his drink. ) My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, ( Whatever, I took her virginity. ) FML

#20563680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64794) - you deserved it (16433)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I ad to present a project 4 ma science class. I began explaining ma project; looking at looool all te bord people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness ten causd me to laug ysterically, causing ma classmates to laug. My teacer felt sorry 4 me an told me to sit down. FML

Today... my husband calld me... saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then hered a female voice in the background mutter... "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55964) - you deserved it (3788)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today,hilst texting mah boyfriend on the train , I noticd the woman sitting next to me staring intently at mah phone . After letting mah boyfriend know , he sent a message saying , "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gaspd and screamd that I'm a "twistd dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40147) - you deserved it (6840)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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