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iOceanus

Offline (the 02/04/2015 at 5:25pm) | Search for a member

iOceanus

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2976
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About iOceanus : I enjoy reading manga, watching anime, and playing video games. Otaku and proud! ^_^☆ Send me a message, and I'll entertain you! I'll talk about anything, really. :P Although, I'm usually lurking on FML at night! Sayonara mina-san!
( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.
-Anonymous

You reap what you sow. -Many people

Do or do not, there is no try. -Master Yoda

True freedom lies within ones thoughts.
-Anonymous

iOceanus's page activity

Visits<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:10am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:17am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:17am<b>One_Way</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 5:35pm<b>pinque</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:11am<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:29pm<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:55pm<b>Stroke_Her_Ace</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 1:05am<b>thepwny8</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:35pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:19pm<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:16pm<b>__Zorro__</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 5:59pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:16pm<b>chickenlips23</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:48am<b>sevazilla</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 2:53pm<b>monkeyxD</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:48am<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 11:11pm

Liked!<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:56pm

iOceanus's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of iOceanus's badges

iOceanus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (8224)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53981) - you deserved it (12371)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

#20569678
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44753) - you deserved it (6269)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I boarded my first airplane flight. The girl on my right is sick, and the guy on my left says he gets extremely nauseous on flights. My earphones can't block out the panting and retching on either side of me. FML

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20907) - you deserved it (51731)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44603) - you deserved it (15137)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40168) - you deserved it (4720)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38291) - you deserved it (2563)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47061) - you deserved it (3293)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33710) - you deserved it (15351)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64754) - you deserved it (16428)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55946) - you deserved it (3786)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40109) - you deserved it (6835)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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