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iOceanus

Offline (the 02/04/2015 at 5:25pm) | Search for a member

iOceanus

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3364
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About iOceanus : I enjoy reading manga, watching anime, and playing video games. Otaku and proud! ^_^☆ Send me a message, and I'll entertain you! I'll talk about anything, really. :P Although, I'm usually lurking on FML at night! Sayonara mina-san!
( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.
-Anonymous

You reap what you sow. -Many people

Do or do not, there is no try. -Master Yoda

True freedom lies within ones thoughts.
-Anonymous

iOceanus's page activity

Visits<b>paintedchocolate</b> - yesterday at 7:46pm<b>mikeman1744</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:28pm<b>Supersid333</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:12pm<b>Life_is_FML</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:00pm<b>Kvothee</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 8:37pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:02pm<b>ZiaS</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:25am<b>connectthedots</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:46pm<b>justmenooneelse</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:23pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:40am<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:37pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:31pm<b>monster1109</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:02pm<b>nwaugh72</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:56pm<b>kandifantasy</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:26am<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:10am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:17am

Fucked!<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:56pm

iOceanus's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of iOceanus's badges

iOceanus's favorite FMLs

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (1987)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33798) - you deserved it (3705)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23450) - you deserved it (42607)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34120) - you deserved it (3713)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29991) - you deserved it (5733)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43676) - you deserved it (22709)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54334) - you deserved it (4776)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39639) - you deserved it (25456)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40458) - you deserved it (6142)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

#21204164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30566) - you deserved it (15810)

On 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML

#21203575
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46539) - you deserved it (3553)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:02am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53158) - you deserved it (8258)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML

#21196634
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35952) - you deserved it (4057)

On 07/02/2014 at 8:59pm - health - by Anonymous -

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36281) - you deserved it (3258)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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