Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iGiveNoDamn

Offline (the 08/20/2015 at 2:35pm) | Search for a member

iGiveNoDamn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 May 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2422
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About iGiveNoDamn : Who cares?!!!

iGiveNoDamn's page activity

Visits<b>tessamarie19</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:34pm<b>tpm45</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:45am<b>numbwanderlust</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 8:21pm<b>StephC720</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:25pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:29pm<b>Jaredphamtom</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 12:39pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:40am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:33pm<b>TheTrumpeter3</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:52pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 1:51pm<b>BronzeShoe</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 1:31am<b>Futacy</b> - the 09/05/2012 at 4:19pm

iGiveNoDamn's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of iGiveNoDamn's badges

iGiveNoDamn's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27125) - you deserved it (55827)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49267) - you deserved it (6488)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43744) - you deserved it (6335)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML

#20994219
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you deserved it (2916)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:47pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38097) - you deserved it (10138)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49628) - you deserved it (3180)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53063) - you deserved it (8381)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52142) - you deserved it (8514)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42129) - you deserved it (5225)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML

#20970198
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (3850)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by cb - United States (Indiana)

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51139) - you deserved it (18393)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59225) - you deserved it (6254)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44871) - you deserved it (6069)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

#20957769
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38162) - you deserved it (2821)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by AshlynnPrime - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: