Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iGiveNoDamn

Offline (the 04/01/2015 at 2:22pm) | Search for a member

iGiveNoDamn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 May 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2109
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About iGiveNoDamn : Who cares?!!!

iGiveNoDamn's page activity

Visits<b>tessamarie19</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:34pm<b>tpm45</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:45am<b>numbwanderlust</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 8:21pm<b>StephC720</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:25pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:29pm<b>Jaredphamtom</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 12:39pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:40am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:33pm<b>TheTrumpeter3</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:52pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 1:51pm<b>BronzeShoe</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 1:31am<b>Futacy</b> - the 09/05/2012 at 4:19pm

iGiveNoDamn's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of iGiveNoDamn's badges

iGiveNoDamn's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43017) - you deserved it (27864)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12653) - you deserved it (53520)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61793) - you deserved it (7353)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129322) - you deserved it (9662)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

#3267231
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39844) - you deserved it (17102)

On 06/27/2009 at 3:03am - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46037) - you deserved it (11994)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was surfing. I saw a cop writing a ticket for my car, I swam as fast as I could to stop him, I got caught in a wave, and smashed onto the rocks. I ended up with a huge bleeding scratch on my back, a broken surfboard, and a note saying that I had a flat tire. FML

#3241912
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54451) - you deserved it (9041)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by hatesurf (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

#3028643
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53567) - you deserved it (12583)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
433 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19723) - you deserved it (147970)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185781) - you deserved it (47375)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61115) - you deserved it (6912)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
936 comments

I agree, your life sucks (367913) - you deserved it (41184)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: