Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iGiveNoDamn

Offline (the 07/28/2015 at 3:40pm) | Search for a member

iGiveNoDamn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 May 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2340
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About iGiveNoDamn : Who cares?!!!

iGiveNoDamn's page activity

Visits<b>tessamarie19</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:34pm<b>tpm45</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:45am<b>numbwanderlust</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 8:21pm<b>StephC720</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:25pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:29pm<b>Jaredphamtom</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 12:39pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:40am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:33pm<b>TheTrumpeter3</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:52pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 1:51pm<b>BronzeShoe</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 1:31am<b>Futacy</b> - the 09/05/2012 at 4:19pm

iGiveNoDamn's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of iGiveNoDamn's badges

iGiveNoDamn's favorite FMLs

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

#19201206
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (3797)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:19am - misc - by Urinal Fresh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

#19147436
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10161) - you deserved it (34897) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm - misc - by Laviolette - France

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45246) - you deserved it (4673)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21602) - you deserved it (41473)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

#18275537
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25092) - you deserved it (6954)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm - misc - by alliez108 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (44692)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
607 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23732) - you deserved it (254634)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32926) - you deserved it (3634)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

#17452928
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31419) - you deserved it (40193) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35379) - you deserved it (10070)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51501) - you deserved it (9888)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42184) - you deserved it (10377)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35211) - you deserved it (8451)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44299) - you deserved it (3284)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45029) - you deserved it (5628)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: