Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iGiveNoDamn

Offline (the 04/01/2015 at 2:22pm) | Search for a member

iGiveNoDamn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 May 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2094
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About iGiveNoDamn : Who cares?!!!

iGiveNoDamn's page activity

Visits<b>tessamarie19</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:34pm<b>tpm45</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:45am<b>numbwanderlust</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 8:21pm<b>StephC720</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:25pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:29pm<b>Jaredphamtom</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 12:39pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:40am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:33pm<b>TheTrumpeter3</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:52pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 1:51pm<b>BronzeShoe</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 1:31am<b>Futacy</b> - the 09/05/2012 at 4:19pm

iGiveNoDamn's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of iGiveNoDamn's badges

iGiveNoDamn's favorite FMLs

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46156) - you deserved it (5963)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me and when I asked why we never hung out he admitted that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML

#21113585
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48569) - you deserved it (3794)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:01am - love - by cricha4208 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54345) - you deserved it (4926)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45195) - you deserved it (7429)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39479) - you deserved it (10384)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42037) - you deserved it (4264)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

#21092226
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42132) - you deserved it (3025)

On 03/20/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by nehadrihan - United States (California)

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39752) - you deserved it (4479)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38619) - you deserved it (5131)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

#21090611
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38838) - you deserved it (6502)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46367) - you deserved it (6788)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37022) - you deserved it (14786)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: