iFRUiTTART

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iFRUiTTART

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12170
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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iFRUiTTART's page activity

Visits<b>kimeatszombies</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:19am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 4:05am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 4:04pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/13/2009 at 7:46am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 6:58am<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 10:46pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 4:47pm

iFRUiTTART's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

iFRUiTTART's favorite FMLs

Today, I received an email with a link to a story about a man who lost 650 pounds. I ignored it, until I saw who sent it. My mom, with the message "Maybe there's hope for you." FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, my fiancé and I toured our dream home. I was so excited about it that I posted all kinds of pictures of it on Facebook. My Boss' daughter just called and said she loved my pictures so much she made an offer on the house. We were 1 week away from making an offer. FML

by Homeless / 07/13/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Money

Today, while I was working as a waitress, I had to wait on a table of 13 people. I was struggling through it and when they finally left I went by the table to pick up my tip. Instead of a money I got a napkin saying "Here's your tip, don't be a waitress." FML

by Nick / 07/13/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

by iJehx / 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML

by JackOLantern / 07/13/2009 at 4:16pm / Satellite Provider / Love

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

by air / 07/13/2009 at 5:17am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML

by zombielover1 / 07/13/2009 at 2:17am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

by greek_dancer / 07/13/2009 at 1:14am / United States / Transportation

Today, I had gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said "your phones been buzzing". I had a text saying "you're grounded," from my Dad. My Alarm saying 'Birth Control Pill' had been going off for a half hour while I was gone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2009 at 12:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML

by Dee / 07/12/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

by embarrassed / 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

by wtf / 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

by policeopenup / 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I received 7 notifications on facebook. Girls in my grade were commenting on my photo because they knew the location of it. They then started to have a conversation and they planned a whole social event. On my photo. I wasn't invited. FML

by laurraaa / 07/11/2009 at 3:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2009 at 3:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation