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  • Number of visits : 12385
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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iFRUiTTART's page activity

Visits<b>kimeatszombies</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:19am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 4:05am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 4:04pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/13/2009 at 7:46am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 6:58am<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 10:46pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 4:47pm

iFRUiTTART's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

iFRUiTTART's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out to dinner with a friend. When the bill came with a customer satisfaction survey, I put honestly that the "server friendliness" was "below average." Ten minutes later, I had to return to the restaurant to beg the waitress for my keys, which I had left on the table. FML

by lemonadedisguise / 07/18/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, then threw off the covers. Looks like there have been cockroaches in my bed. FML

by fartypeepee / 07/18/2009 at 6:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, to get back at me for breaking up with him, my ex-boyfriend thought it would be really funny to post semi nude pictures of me on Craigslist. To top it off, he decided to give all 200+ people who responded to my ad my home phone number. I'm getting non-stop calls from horny freaks. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML

Today, I got back from a romantic vacation at a fancy hotel with my boyfriend of 6 months. After a steamy love session, I confessed that I was in love with him. Later, when I got out of the shower, all his stuff was gone and I was stuck with the entire week's hotel cost and no ride home. FML

by Stranded / 07/17/2009 at 3:58am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

by search_me / 07/16/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

by dork / 07/16/2009 at 4:32pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML

by Alex / 07/15/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

by nsJ / 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

by bellaboop1990 / 07/14/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML

by guess28 / 07/14/2009 at 2:19pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. The waiter brought some bread and I started eating it as I waited for him to take my order. When he approached me he looked at me and said, "Don't eat too much bread honey. It'll make you fatter." Not fat, fatter. I never thought of myself as fat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2009 at 2:03pm / Spain (Madrid) / Health

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

by paddy / 07/14/2009 at 8:23am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous