iFRUiTTART

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iFRUiTTART

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11224
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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iFRUiTTART's page activity

Visits<b>kimeatszombies</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:19am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 4:05am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 4:04pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/13/2009 at 7:46am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 6:58am<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 10:46pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 4:47pm

iFRUiTTART's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

iFRUiTTART's favorite FMLs

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

by fearofzombies / 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

by auslander / 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML

by kmb04 / 08/02/2009 at 11:12am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my father taught my son to pee on trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

by jcesom / 08/01/2009 at 2:35am / United States (West Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML

by fmlatmovies / 07/25/2009 at 11:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

by Sally / 07/24/2009 at 5:04am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

by Rory / 07/23/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

by OneYearMistake. / 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML

by grounded4life / 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

by PokeTheBear / 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm / Canada / Work

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

by sadinseattle / 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

by Gordon / 07/22/2009 at 10:12am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was fired from the babysitting job I have had for 2 years. I thought maybe the mother had found out that I sometimes let her kids stay up late and have extra sweets. The real reason, as she told me, was that she didn't want her kids loving anyone more than they love her. FML

by babysitter93 / 07/22/2009 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

by NotSoClean / 07/21/2009 at 2:53pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous