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iBurnTrees

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iBurnTrees
  • Town/Country : Greenwood, United States of Emerica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 January 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 382
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About iBurnTrees : My cat isn't dead, that's how he sleeps =^_^=
i drive a 2004 GTO, sell cats on the black market and own the globe trotters. Psh, and you thought you were a boss...

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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iBurnTrees's favorite FMLs

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36087) - you deserved it (9467)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29952) - you deserved it (6274)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

#7757731
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was walking down the street in downtown Charleston where there are a lot of horse-drawn carriage tours and I decided to pick up some litter. Some of it was in a puddle of water, but after I picked up the trash, I realized the puddle was horse urine. FML

#5953331
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (6610)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Leash (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

#5940105
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35095) - you deserved it (2676)

On 10/22/2009 at 1:53am - love - by uneek_3225 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

#5677989
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9067) - you deserved it (31260)

On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

#3188725
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27586) - you deserved it (6137)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34482) - you deserved it (113984)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88001) - you deserved it (26170)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6510) - you deserved it (26828)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9004) - you deserved it (67164)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version



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