About hyates89 : Texas country girl, loving life!
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hyates89's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML
by meltdowninrels / 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by someonepleasehelpme / 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by kittynapper / 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by toonice / 07/17/2014 at 4:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
by fuck you, kid / 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm / United States / Health
by HowAreYouAlive / 07/09/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML
by legitfile.bat.virus.exe / 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Health