About hpoxx : It's okay to want to bitch slap someone...
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hpoxx's favorite FMLs
Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2014 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
by that_culinary_degree_though / 05/12/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Makeitdance / 05/11/2014 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Work
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2014 at 3:00pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Nevada) / Work
by shylahrc / 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
by Shit / 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML
by fuck you, Jeff / 04/25/2014 at 7:45pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML
by Anonyme / 04/24/2014 at 2:57am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Transportation
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
by Quackadoodledoo / 04/23/2014 at 10:21pm / United Kingdom (Barnet) / Transportation
by notmine / 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm / India (Delhi) / Work
by burnmyeyes / 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I dropped my phone between my legs and tried to catch it with my thighs. Instead, the phone… Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked… Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML
- Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog…