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Offline (the 06/22/2014 at 3:00am)

how_to_implode

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4284
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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Visits<b>kingshelly</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 1:41pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Pyneapple</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:12pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:34pm<b>shaar</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 7:49am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:51pm<b>yuhboi</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 10:36am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 11:16am<b>YellowKettleBell</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:14am<b>ryan1268</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 2:29pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:35am<b>cwl727</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 3:34pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 9:48pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 1:52pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:40pm<b>HersheySquirts</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:22pm<b>shadow619r</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 9:49pm

Fucked!<b>kingshelly</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 7:41pm

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how_to_implode's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

by nehadrihan / 03/20/2014 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

by tiredofcrazy / 03/18/2014 at 5:14am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2014 at 10:00am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

by mr1234 / 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU / 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

by adopted / 03/03/2014 at 10:55am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML

by Maxime / 02/27/2014 at 7:32pm / Love

Today, my cat pissed all over my work clothes. They weren't even on the floor, she knocked the hanger down just so she could use them as a toilet. FML

by baxeh / 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 4:59am / Russian Federation (Lipetsk) / Love

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

by anonymous / 02/20/2014 at 12:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

by vey / 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

by jai90 / 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous