how_to_implode

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Offline (the 06/22/2014 at 3:00am)

how_to_implode

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4343
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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how_to_implode's page activity

Visits<b>kingshelly</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 1:41pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Pyneapple</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:12pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:34pm<b>shaar</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 7:49am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:51pm<b>yuhboi</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 10:36am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 11:16am<b>YellowKettleBell</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:14am<b>ryan1268</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 2:29pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:35am<b>cwl727</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 3:34pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 9:48pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 1:52pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:40pm<b>HersheySquirts</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:22pm<b>shadow619r</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 9:49pm

Fucked!<b>kingshelly</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 7:41pm

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how_to_implode's favorite FMLs

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

by Lookalike / 05/12/2014 at 10:38am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

by loserman / 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm / United States / Animals

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

by shorty / 04/21/2014 at 12:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

by babylove / 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm / South Africa / Kids

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

by watch_corn_dance / 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

by kubbyp / 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2014 at 7:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

by Why / 04/02/2014 at 4:13am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

by bringthemback / 03/29/2014 at 6:34am / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

by mookiemookie01 / 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

by iusedprotectionanyway / 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health