About how_about_no_ : "Oh sure, when pigs fly..."
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how_about_no_'s favorite FMLs
by Wonderful_0 / 06/23/2015 at 1:58pm / United Kingdom (Luton) / Animals
Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML
by hfs palm / 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML
by wouaf / 05/29/2015 at 12:19am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health
by We're still popping them / 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by DumbFace714 / 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 8:45am / United States / Love
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation